An Ultimate Beginner's Guide To Swinging & How Couples Can Get Started

what are swingers

If you have visited a dating or hooking website or app, you must have come across the word swinging. And indeed, it must have created some surprising questions in your mind. And you must have been overzealous to know what swinging is, and can it work for you? 

So whether you're interested in trying swinging for yourself or are just curious to learn more about this form of non-marriage, this article has everything you need to know. Or the one you've been longing to understand but still don't know exactly what swinging is, how it works, and whether it's right for you? You will get the answers to all these questions in full swing, and this will surely be the last step in your confusion and dilemmas.

While monogamy works for particular couples, others prefer to explore and imbibe open relationships to spice up their sex lives. Swinging can be a fun and excellent experience for married couples, people in committed sincere relationships, and singles who want to engage in sexual activity with multiple partners.

What Exactly Is Swinging?

Truly swinging is a social practice that involves allowing one's partner to engage in sex with another man. It may include swapping sexual partners or engaging in group sexual activity voluntarily and with the partner's permission. Yes, to a large extent, this is done in the context of just a coupled relationship.

Swingers engage in sexual activity outside their core relationship (besides marriage or actual relationships) as a shared sexual experience with their partner. It simply means that most of the extra-relational sex swingers engage in is where their partner can see him having sex with other men, or he may be involved. The husband, wife, or real loving couple can directly engage in it.

Typically many swingers refer to themselves as being in a lifestyle, which essentially means that swinging (and often other behaviors such as kink fetish and BDSM sex) are an integral part of their sexual identity or sexual behavior. And they consider themselves to be a genuine part of the swinger community.

Myths About Swinging Among People

People have different thinking in society, and everyone's opinion may not match, especially regarding sexual fantasy or strange sex. Those worms start to bubble up in some people's minds, and they begin to judge things on their terms. For some people, only what they say is true; some people need the correct information, then accept it. But the important thing is that one's personal life doesn't matter what people think; still, swinging isn't cheating or an affair. 

Swinging is a sexual activity based on the premise of consensual non-marriage by all partners, which means that all involved, all sexual partners, have full knowledge, consent, and approval of sexual behavior that occurs outside the main pair bond.

However, most swinging activity is not a sexual free-for-all but a well-planned way for like-minded sexual orientation individuals to engage in activities such as sexual fantasy to enhance their relationships. However, there is a misconception that swingers are people who are victims of sexual perversion, who are deceitful, or who are unable to adhere to a commitment.

Another misconception among people is that it can help save a broken relationship. But it has nothing to do with the truth, and it all symbolizes the negative thinking of some people. And the truth is quite the opposite.

It is well known that swinging may not be prophylactic for troubled relationships. Neither can it stop cheating, nor can it save any dying relationships. Conversely, swinging is only recommended for couples or people who feel secure in their relationships and are open and trusting toward their partners.

Swinging vs. Open Relationships

People often portray it as an open relationship when it comes to swinging. But the truth is that these two words are not entirely synonymous.

Everyone in the Swingers community has an open relationship (ie, allowed to have sex with people outside the actual relationship by their partner), but not all people in genuine relationships are swingers. People in non-swinging open relationships often engage in extra-sexual relationships without their partner and sometimes adopt a "don't tell or don't ask" policy when hooking up. Whereas in swinging, couples participate in extra-sexual relationships with each other's consent and cooperation and freely share sexual experiences. Because it gives a sensual and thrilling experience for those, who love to swing, some swinger couples may be only open to outside sexual partners in specific circumstances. That is when a team jointly engages in a unique swinging experience together.

Swinging is not the same as polyamory relationships, as the polyamory activity involves engaging in sexual relationships with multiple people. Whereas swingers usually look only to have sex with others, with no limited or fixed strings. 

Swinging involves open sex, but there is a limit and respect and affection for the partner involved, strictly prohibiting wrongful things such as sexual abuse. But swingers have no romantic or respect for whomever they swing with; they mostly believe in rough sex and have no regard for respect in relationships. 

However, some common concepts bind them all together: they are all forms of consensual non-marriage, requiring consent, trust, communication, and honesty.

Signs Of Swinging That Can Give You Joy And Fun

There are some signs through which you can find out whether you are inclined towards swinging or are attracted:

  • You often get hot at your partner having sex with others.
  • You and your partner now often or occasionally think about group sex or partner swaps and talk dirty to each other.
  • If you've ever had group sex in the past, you're thrilled to think about it and think about repeating it.
  • You are generally open-minded and feel sexually adventurous.
  • You imagine having sex outside of your marriage or actual relationship.
  • You are excited and attracted to the thought of seeing your real partner having sex with other people or getting romantic.
  • You feel neutral and competent about separating love, relationship, and sex.
  • You like to watch adult movies about group sex, wife swapping or swinging, or sexual fantasy. Knowing that you or your wife will have sex with others, you trust each other completely.

Essential Things To Know Before Trying Swinging

1: Learn How To Get Into Swinging

Swinging is not just about swapping partners or having sex outside. Instead, you have to know what your test is and what the limit is. A common form of swinging is two or more couples joining and participating in a sex swap. When you swing, you can engage in either a soft swap (limit relationship) or a full swap. A soft swap or limit relationship refers to engaging in oral sex or an expected romantic date with such a person or new sex partner. But a full swap is meant to cover every aspect of intercourse, including all forms of sex related to swinging. 

You should also know that swinging has the term unicorn attached to it. A unicorn is a single woman who engages in sex with heterosexual couples, which is associated with threesomes or group sex. 

2: Talk Openly About Potential Expectations With Your Partner

If you are thinking about this sexual fantasy, discuss it openly and honestly with your partner, and make them aware of all the issues. And be sure what you'll do when swinging together and what things you want to put away. Will you only have a group sex, will you part ways and engage in sex with new partners or couples, or will you switch partners with another team? And also about getting out of it, how will you come out of it? You should ensure that both of you have the same goals and limits. If you are going for swinging, you mustn't force your partner for anything. Truly swinging will be enjoyable only when all parties are happy, enthusiastic, and blissful.

3: Be Aware of safe Sex Precautions

The dangers and risks automatically increase when you swing out, so it becomes essential to consider safety. There are many such considerations of which you need to be aware. You must ensure what type of protection you will use and what level of risk you would like to go with. Regarding safety, condoms can reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections(STIs) and pregnancy. But you should also note that no security is 100% secure. Therefore, you should consider what steps you will take in the event of an unplanned pregnancy or a positive STI test.

4: After The First Time Is Over, Both The Partners Have A Deep Conversation

Okay, you've finished your first swinging movement, but what after that? After you have finished swinging for the first time, you must have gained much experience. Hopefully, all those experiences were positive. But it's very likely that you may feel confused, guilty, or overwhelmed with all the excitement the first time around.

Therefore, you need to talk to reconnect as a couple and check in with each other after the new experience. You can discuss with a detailed and open mind what this new experience was like for you, what was good, what was funny, what was challenging, and what changes you would like to go with it if you go back to play it in the future. You can also enlist the help of a sex therapist or specialist who specializes in non-marital relationships.

5: Join The Network Of The Swinger Community

You should check out a local swinger club if you've already considered swinging, and it's a good idea to read their guidelines carefully. When you contact to join, of course, you may have a list of couples or their means of contact, so talk openly and discuss your wishes and limits. Following good consent practices can make for a great experience. Be sure to be careful and alert when you are engaging because you are the guarantee of your safety.

How To Talk With Your Partner To Join Swinging?

Suppose you've never been involved in swinging. In that case, you'll be a little nervous or confused and may be hesitant to talk about it with your partner, especially if your partner is unaware of it. So letting your partner know you're interested in swinging can be a small challenge. After all, the norm of monogamy is very strong, and even those who are excited and agitated by the thought of swinging can have some complicated feelings in the beginning.

  • For a successful conversation, be sure to bring it up when you know your partner is in a relaxed mood and can understand and listen to your thoughts.
  • Present it to your partner with an open mind, and learn their reaction to your partner's values. And if they're not ready for it, respect their feelings and put it off. But consider bringing it up again at the right time.
  • Once you start the conversation and they have any confusing questions, you can suggest and satisfy them; it is your responsibility to clear their dilemmas and confusion. If they are concerned about their security, you must be aware of their safety. Because a bad experience may create tension between the both of you or increase the distance.

Conclusion

Swinging is a social practice that, like all forms of consensual non-marriage, can add a wide range of satisfying and exhilarating encounters to your life. And can deepen the relationship between you and your partner. If you go into it with consent and pleasure, your nights will be filled with sensual sweats, and the heat can always be at its peak. So you are now free, active, and a great knower to enjoy safe swinging. So go ahead fearlessly.

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