If you are around the age of 45, then naturally some things automatically start coming to your mind, because this is the time of menopause. And usually, your periods start getting irregular, and your worries about sex life start increasing. As you approach menopause, you may begin to worry that your sex life is about to change.
Menopause usually occurs when you haven't had a period for one year. Although even before you start getting signs that you are approaching menopause, your periods tend to be irregular, sometimes at 2,3 months, sometimes for very short periods like 1 or 2 days. And the transitional years preceding it are marked by symptoms, such as sleep problems, hot flashes, infrequent or irregular periods during perimenopause, and so on.
Your regular changes in the early days of menopause can make you feel hopeless because your menopause affects how you have sex and your sexual desire. A drop in sex drive, and the irritability it causes, is a common symptom of perimenopause.
These are everyday things, though; it doesn't end your sex life. Suppose you have heard or read, or you are worried that you will not be able to have intercourse after menopause due to low sex drive. In that case, this is entirely false and unfaithful. Orgasms, great sex, and powerful orgasms are still possible, and you can have sex and orgasm usually. Just as you enjoyed a sex life before menopause, you can still enjoy regular sex and orgasm after menopause.
The steps you take and a few minor changes can significantly increase your pleasure during sex. Single or partnered sex, or with your partner, can enhance physical and emotional intimacy.
Essential Tips For More Satisfying sex, Orgasm, Solo Play, Or Sex With A Partner
You want to have sex, and enjoy the orgasm, but, for whatever reason, you can't reach the end goal. So, it may seem not very encouraging. But there's no point in giving up completely, and it's just time to try a slightly different approach and keep trying.
While you can try a few different things to achieve a real orgasm, it's also important to keep in mind that you stop thinking about the orgasm and just focus on the act of intercourse. Concentrating only on orgasm, without focusing on orgasm as a specific goal, can help you reach the end goal more quickly.
Use Of Extra Lubricant
It is normal to experience vaginal dryness sometime before and after menopause, as many hormonal changes occur during this time, and sexual desire also changes. Due to this, your vagina leaves less lubrication. It usually happens even when you are ready to have sex.
When estrogen and progesterone levels in your body begin to drop, your vagina produces less lubrication, even during stimulation. And this lack of natural lubrication can make penetrative sex uncomfortable and painful for some people. Therefore, extra lubricant can lead you to more enjoyable sex. When it comes to direct clitoral stimulation, the added lubrication can also help reduce friction, which can help you achieve better orgasms through touching or solo play. Or, if you are having sex with your partner, the conflict of the penis in a happy vagina can be pretty painful. In this case, using extra lube can go a long way in achieving a penetrative orgasm.
Try Something Different, New, And Direct Stimulation
There is naturally reduced blood flow to the vagina and clitoris during and after the menopausal transition. It means that you feel difficulty in getting stimulation. Especially if you usually need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, the resulting decrease in sensitivity can make orgasm more difficult. Although more difficult does not mean impossible, It may take a little longer or require a different and new approach. And you will be able to get an orgasm completely.
Try The Tips Below That Help You Achieve Great Orgasms:
- Pay Extra Attention To The Clitoris
If you achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation, you need to pay special attention to your clit, and include more of your clitoris. To get additional stimulation by rubbing or stroking the clitoris, you can ask your partner to rub, pat, or lick the clitoris. And as we mentioned above, the added lube can increase your enjoyment by reducing friction.
- Try Oral Sex
No matter what age you are, foreplay goes a long way in achieving your sex and orgasm. In such a situation, forgetting oral sex will make it difficult for you. And oral sex can be a great way to move things along successfully. Oral sex stimulates your clit at a faster rate, plus it provides added bf lubrication. When your partner is having oral sex, you can ask them to use the cuddly more. Also, if you prefer clit stimulation, or get an orgasm from it, then definitely oral sex will be beneficial in reaching your orgasm.
- Use Of Sex Toys And Vibrators
Whether you're enjoying solo play or intercourse with a partner, using a vibrator regularly can certainly help increase sensitivity and moisture, and reaching orgasm becomes easier. The vibrator also provides additional stimulation. If your partner penetrates, and during that time, the vibrator is used on the clitoris, extra motivation is obtained, and a powerful orgasm occurs.
- Take Extra Time To Kiss, Touch, And Foreplay
After menopause, the secretion of many hormones stops or decreases, directly affecting your sexual desire. In addition, it can also mean that it takes longer to get aroused or to feel in the mood for sex. In this case, spending more time on foreplay and non-physical intimacy increases your arousal. It makes you feel closer and positively connected to your partner. At the same time, your attention also becomes wholly focused on intercourse.
Make Erotic Activities A Part Of Sex
Hormonal changes or falling hormones mean that your body is not ready for sex quickly, so that you can do something extra for it. And can get an orgasm.
- Taking turns giving each other sensual massages.
- Take a bath together.
- To make the room fragrant by lighting a candle creates a romantic atmosphere.
- Dirty talking (like talking about your past sexual experiences. Recall those moments when you did something different.)
- Listening and watching pornographic audio and video.
- Reading pornographic books.
- Get naked and look at the parts of your body in the mirror.
- Sexy dance.
- Initiating flirting or foreplay before going to bed.
Keep The Room Cool
Generally, the bad environment of the room affects your sex life. If the sex drive in your life has automatically decreased, then it can make the environment worse. The room is hot and heavy and can make you clammy, tired, and sweaty. And it can kill an intimate mood. So installing a fan or AC in your room, and staying hydrated throughout the day, can help you stay cool. You can also bring some ice cubes to incorporate during sex, as some people feel the cooling sensation in the body increases their arousal.
Instead Of Misconceptions, Think Positive
The idea is that once you reach menopause, it is impossible to have sex; mentally, it hinders you from achieving climax-orgasm. And getting an orgasm is more complicated. It's also common to be less interested in sex after menopause, so you may want to make sex a priority or stop making time for it. Yet, contrary to what others suggest or negative, sex and continued sexual pleasure in middle and old age are normal, healthy, and entirely possible. If you keep a positive attitude, you will not have much difficulty achieving sexual desire, and you can have regular sex and orgasm.
Physical Symptoms Of Menopause
Any changes in menopause you experience can make regular sex or orgasm more of a challenge. But changes in sex drive, sexual desire, and sexual pleasure are usually related to a combination of factors.
Physical changes in the vagina, as well as hormonal changes, can cause symptoms affecting your sex life, including:
- Vaginal tightness
- Vaginal dryness
- Vaginal irritation
- Urine leakage or incontinence
- Decreased libido
- Decreased clitoral sensitivity
- Pain during sex
- Feeling of pain from touching the clit, etc.
Loss of interest in sex can be caused by changes in your body in general, including:
- Lack of sleep
- Muscle pain and stiffness
- Recurrent headache
- Hot flashes
- Change in body shape
- Emotional change
- Partner taking less interest in sex, etc.
Emotional and mental health symptoms after menopause can also affect sex, such as:
- Increased irritability due to hormone changes
- Frequent mood swings
- Feelings of anxiety or depression
- Relationship or workplace stress with a partner
- Anxiety and stress about illness, etc.
Usually, these symptoms can be related to physical and mental changes (sexual and non-sexual) associated with menopause or any external factors. So you have to be positive.
Tips For Dealing With Possible Symptoms After Menopause
Menopause symptoms can appear differently in every woman, and everyone may experience various concerns. Here are some possible strategies to help with any potential changes and factors you may experience.
- Vaginal Dryness
The symptom of a dry vagina usually appears after menopause. And the best for this is to use extra lube. A thicker lubricant can help increase sexual pleasure, reduce discomfort, and ease the pain, whether you are masturbating or having sex with a partner. However, you need to be careful when choosing your lubricant. You don't have to worry too much if you use a household lubricant. But some lubricants available on the market can also cause irritation or allergies. You should also avoid scented oils to help reduce the chances of vaginal irritation and allergies. Silicone-based lubricants on the market generally last longer than other types of lubricants and are also hypoallergenic.
You can talk to your doctor about the use of estrogen cream. Applying this cream to the vaginal or oral cavity can help in natural lubrication.
- Vaginal Tightness
The simple solution is to have sex regularly. Yes, having sex can go a long way in preventing uncomfortable vaginal tightness. Not having sex for a long time can cause a feeling of tightness in the vagina, and sometimes it also becomes painful. Along with this, having regular sex also increases sex desire.
You are not in any bondage, and regular sex does not mean you are bound to have sex with only one partner.
- The Right Choice Of Vibrator Or Dildo
If you're enjoying solo play, you can use a vibrator. If you are using a dildo, you may find it helpful to enjoy penetration without friction or irritation by using a smooth glass dildo rather than a silicone one. Plus, if you're having sex with a partner, the vibrator can give you double stimulation.
The correct sex position matters a lot, especially as it gets a little more challenging to get comfortable with as you get older. So, don't hesitate to get creative with a partner. You try different sex positions until you find a comfortable sex position and you feel comfortable.
Below are some sex positions that you can try, as well as find out which one you are comfortable with:
- Missionary Sex Position
Usually, missionary sex positions are always comfortable, but you can still if you want to try something different.
- Lady On Top
Yes, if you come up, you will have control in your hands, and you can drive according to your ease and ask your partner to react from below. In this case, double stimulation will be received, and you can get orgasm quickly, for this you can try cowgirl position.
- Upside Down Missionary
If you feel too tired, you can have sex on top of your partner in a missionary position, and this will help with deeper penetration. Your partner can also cooperate fully from below.
- Spooning Sex Position
It is a nice sex position that doesn't require much pushing or effort, and the both of you can try each other face-to-face together.
- 69 Sex Positions
Penetration is not necessary for orgasm and sex. And you feel free to skip penetration altogether, and you can give each other oral sex. Or you can get an orgasm through masturbation.
Other Causes Of Decreased Libido Or Decreased Arousal
Changes in hormone levels can affect your sexual interest, but other factors can also affect your libido.
- If you are taking any regular medicine.
Sometimes the medicine being taken for health-related treatment can affect your sexual desire. So it is worth checking which one of them is affecting your sexual desire. For this, you can take help from a professional and get advice on replacing it if you find out.
- Sluggish changes in your mood.
Stress, depression, and anxiety can all affect sexual desire, so if you're experiencing mood changes, talk to a doctor or other mental health professional without delay.
- If you find it difficult to get into the mood for sex.
Suppose you're not mentally ready for sex or are having difficulty. In that case, you might want to consider reading and watching some erotic things. You can read erotica and resort to erotic audio. Or watch erotic videos. If you wish, you can share each other's sexual fantasies with your partner.
Is There Anything I Can Try During Solo Sex?
Solo sex isn't just something to do when you're away from a partner or don't have a partner. Instead, it can be an enjoyable and robust activity; through the solo play you can achieve powerful orgasms because there is nothing to hesitate about here, and you can enjoy the play till you get an orgasm.
If you don't masturbate regularly, take the time for some physical self-exploration to get to know your body a little better. And when touching your body and organs, pay attention to what works best for you. Focus on what feels good; you may find it easier to achieve orgasm without frustration.
Sex toys like vibrators and dildos can be constructive in increasing your arousal and achieving penetrative sex pleasure.
What To Do During Sex With Partner?
Positive communication with a partner is essential to good and satisfying sex at any stage of life. Still, it becomes even more critical at this stage.
- Talk openly with your partner about the changes after menopause and how they are affecting you. Also, ask for your support in the efforts being made to reduce stress.
- Regular communication can also increase emotional intimacy, bring you closer to each other, and create a positive connection. It can strengthen your relationship and make your physical relationship solid and successful.
- Open and positive conversations make it possible to find solutions together, such as: -Erogenous play and spending more time in the outdoors would be good.
- Planning and setting aside time for sex will increase sexual desire.
- Include sex toys during sex with your partner. For this, browse together to find the type of sex toy you want online.
- Take extra time for foreplay.
- Feel free to ask your partner to accompany you in every movement.
- Try different sex positions.
Sexual Health During And After Menopause
You should especially note that pregnancy is possible even during perimenopause. So do not forget to use safety during this time.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are generally possible at any stage of life. Having conversations with new partners about sexual health, and using barrier methods each time you have sex, can help reduce your risk.
Be sure to use safety when having sex with a stranger.
Getting tested for STIs before having sex with a new partner is a good idea, and it can protect you from unexpected infections.
What To Do If You're Still Having Trouble Experiencing Pleasure Or Orgasm?
Natural or self-efforted efforts often do not give the results you expect.
If sex doesn't seem enjoyable even after trying, or you're feeling a persistent lack of sexual desire, or you're still unable to achieve orgasm, it's best to talk to a doctor or a concerned specialist. A sex therapist or other mental health professional can also identify other possible causes of low sexual pleasure, explore possible solutions, and provide appropriate guidance.
Good sex brings happiness in your life, no matter what age you are; if you have successful sex and get a regular orgasm, it keeps you mentally healthy and strong. As you approach menopause or reach menopause, naturally, sexual desire, sexual pleasure, and satisfaction may change. It is also true that this is not a big problem, and can be made smooth and easy with some simple activities. Creativity, communication, and a willingness to try new things in sex can improve your sexual health. And you can enjoy the pleasure of a triumphant orgasm.
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