The Ultimate Couple’s Guide to Using Sex Toys Together
Sex is a lot like pizza. You think you can have it the same way forever and never get bored, but alas, it does tend to get a bit stale after a while.
Different couples try different things to spice it up and bring the spark back into their relationships, but there is one thing that tends to be a part of each approach. The use of sex toys.
Sex toys can add a whole new fun layer of creativity to the bedroom that really gets the two of you excited again.
So, if you’re tired of doing the same old thing and want to spice it up, but you’re not really experienced with toys, here’s the ultimate all-in-one guide for using sex toys with a partner.
1. Talk to Your Partner First
Any time you’re looking to do something in the bedroom, it shouldn’t be a solo decision-making process. After all, the other person is going to have to take part in it.
This can be a little awkward. Especially if the root cause is wanting to spice things up.
However, it’s crucial.
Be as upfront and honest with your partner as possible, and make sure to frame it as a fun and exciting thing. It is a fun and exciting experience, and the other person is far more likely to get on board if you’re positive about it. It’s not a solution to a problem. It’s just something fun to do. Even though it can help if sex has gone stale.
2. Include Your Partner in Choosing the Toys
So, your partner has agreed to try sex toys. It’s probably not a good idea to have the most massive and intimidating toy possible show up in the mail for your first time, and they thought you meant something a little tamer. This can turn them off to the entire idea.
So, include them in the purchasing process. Sit down together, go over the different toys that you can buy, and pick one or two that each of you enjoys. You can also agree to get one each, within the other person’s limits, and use them on each other.
In any case, this is going to be a much better first experience than pulling out something super advanced and intimidating. There’s always room to upgrade later.
3. Understand Each Other’s Limits and Expectations
The key to enjoyment is respecting each other’s limits. Toys vary widely in what they’re meant to do. There are basic stimulation toys that most people are fine with, and there are some pretty kinky options that some people aren’t comfortable with until they’ve had more experience.
You know your limits, but make sure you and your partner both know each other’s limits. Again, this is going to keep it comfortable, and the sex is always better when everyone is having a good, comfortable time.
Also, touch base on this every once in a while. As you play around, your partner’s limits might change a bit. If you started with something very basic, they might want to up the ante. If you’re at the point where you’re doing more advanced things, they might want to tone it down.
4. Focus on Mutual Pleasure
This is a key point of sex in general. It’s easy to get too focused on your own enjoyment and neglect your partner. You really want to make sure that the toy experience is mutually pleasurable.
This can work two ways.
You can use toys simultaneously with each other, or you can take turns using the toys. You can also use toys for foreplay on one partner and then switch that role next time you do it.
The only important detail here is that it’s a fair deal and no one feels left out.
5. Make Sure You’re Using the Toy Correctly
Nothing ruins a new toy experience like using it improperly. For the most part, there are two parts to this.
The first part is to make sure you’re using the right lube when you’re using a lube-based toy. Silicone toys with silicone lube tend to be very rough. It’s borderline painful. However, water-based lube works exceptionally well with silicone toys. You also want to avoid lubes that have warming capabilities and other things. They’re usually not meant for penetration or use on the genitals at all.
If the toy is attached somehow, such as a strap-on, ball gag, leg spreader, or anything like that, you want to make sure that you’re setting it up properly. Improper setup with such toys can lead to a lot of discomfort.
Then, there are manually operated toys like dildos. You want to make sure you’re using those toys in a way that your partner is enjoying, and make sure you listen for feedback. It should enhance the sex. Not create a negative or boring experience.
6. Use Toys That Complement Sex
Some toys are more foreplay oriented or designed for solo pleasure. Those can work great in a couple’s situation, but it’s often better to use a toy designed as an enhancement of normal sex. Cock rings, gags, handcuffs, plugs, beads, and similar toys that aren’t really meant to be used alone are often better for couples. Especially when you’re brand-new to it.
7. Use Lots of Lube
If you’re using a toy that penetrates, whether you’re penetrating it or you’re using it to penetrate someone else, make sure you use a lot of lube. Later on, you might want to experiment, but it’s best to use lots of lube during the first time.
8. Clean Your Toys Thoroughly
The last thing you want to think about after a long romp and a hardcore orgasm is getting up to clean toys, but it’s necessary.
It’s not flattering, but you will cover your toys in germs and fluids, and those need to be removed. If not, the next time you use them, you might just end up with a yeast infection or UTI. Clean your toys according to the manufacturer’s instructions and store them in a clean place.
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