A Complete Beginner’s Guide To Topping During Sex

A Complete Beginner’s Guide To Topping During Sex - xinghaoya official store

Regarding sexual fantasy, sexual pleasure, or sexual activity, it is rare that we acquire medically accurate sex education knowledge during school. And even if it educated us, it never included the topic of how gay men have sex. And maybe even later, we can not get accurate information about it anywhere.

Even after reading all the articles and books, we are deprived of getting complete information about it. And associated with this same homosexual relationship are many common questions about the mechanism of queer sex, such as what it means to be up and down during sex, and how each participant involved should do it.

And so this article covers everything from warming up to aftercare and knowing about infections, which will give more speed to your topping experience.

Up" and "down", these terms generally refer to the roles of couples during anal play (anal sex). The one below is the receptive partner, which means he is taking his partner's penis or a dildo (sex toy) into his anus. The opposite is the top insertion or penetrating partner, which means he is inserting his penis or dildo into his partner's anus. 

Usually, for many queer men, being up or down is also part of their identity; they are identified by what role they are in. That's why people at the top say I'm a top instead of preferring the top position. If you enjoy topping up and bottoming out during anal sex, it's called Versicolor, or "versus" for short.

How To Topping

It doesn't get limited to just two words. Still, there is much more to it than warming up to aftercare, inserting your penis or dildo into a partner's anus, and enjoying intercourse, which is essential to understand.

  • Communication Is Essential For Topping Up

When you communicate with your partner, ask about their spontaneity, and maintain communication with them, anal sex is funnier and more enjoyable.

  • How To Warm Your Partner

If you've ever been into anal play (anal sex), you know very well that a warm-up is essential before landing. Because the anus neither produces self-lubricating like the vagina nor does it spread easily like the vagina. That is why making foreplay a part of this game is very important. Before you enter your penis or dildo into their anus, insist on loosening it first. You can use your fingers, and one or two fingers can enter slowly.

  • Try Rimming And Fingering To Warm The Partner's Anus

There is a subtle difference between entering and enjoying, so it has to be understood. To stimulate your partner's anus and prepare it for penetration, begin by finger-rubbing their perineum and the outer part of the anus. It gives your partner stimulation, and he becomes more comfortable. Since the anus is filled with a plexus of nerve endings, even the softest touch here will provide a luxurious experience and pleasure. And then you can start kissing in and around the partner's anus; you use your tongue, and the touch of the tongue produces the most sensation in the anus. When you feel that your partner is getting excited, insert one of your fingers to work, but before that, make sure that your nails are short and clean. Because the walls of the anus are fragile, and the slightest carelessness can lead to scratches or wounds.

Butt Clock Technology

You will be delighted to know that using the butt clock technique will make your partner extremely warm and the anal hole fully ready for penetration.

This device is made of smooth muscle inside the anus and is very sensitive, which you can control. If you pay attention to how you can fasten your butthole and make it tighter, you'll be able to do this easily.

But it cannot be controlled by the brain. Instead, you can do so with your lateral pressure. Think of your anus as a circular clock, put your lubricated finger inside the anus, and rotate it in the shape of a clock; you pause in between, then repeat this. Then you will feel that something different is happening in your anus.

Good Quality Lubricant Is Essential For All Types Of Anal Sex

The anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina, so it is important to use lube for anal penetration or foreplay. Because without lubricating, the anus can result in scratching or severe injury. Therefore, use plenty of lubricants when you put your finger, penis, or dildo in the anus. You can use silicone-based lube to lubricate the anus. Silicone lubes are thinner and longer lasting than water-based lubes. It means you won't need to lubricate the anus or penis often. It won't damage latex condoms like oil-based lubes.

But if you're using a silicone sex toy, you have to be careful, as your sex toy (dildo) could be damaged by exposure to silicone-based lube.

Know If Your Bottoms Is Comfortable And Ready To Enter

Before you enter your penis or dildo into the bottom (partner)'s anus, ask your bottom if they are ready for it. And once you've got permission to enter, enter slowly, and notice how your bottom is feeling. If they are in some pain, stop and reevaluate whether your actions are right. Your partner is feeling comfortable before causing severe harm to your partner.

Yes, with certain conditions at the top, it can be tempting to be aggressive or dominant, but don't ignore your partner's desires, and don't get too wild unless they are ready or comfortable. 

Choose The Right Sex Position

A favorite position to achieve penetrative anal sex can increase the pleasure, and it will also make your partner feel comfortable being comfortable. So it would help if you asked the partner what they want. The one at the top is in complete control, so you must let go of your bottom and let the top lead. Consider starting in a position where you can control the depth and speed of penetration. Like cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, or any other "on top" position at the bottom.

Finding The Right Tempo And Rhythm

No perfect tempo is needed when you're topping, and it's all about how comfortable your bottom is. Some bases enjoy longer, faster, and deeper penetration. While others prefer short and slow, some people like to switch frequently. Like all regular sex, it's a matter of finding out what your partner wants, and that requires constant communication.

Communication ensures that all participants enjoy and can switch, slow, or accelerate as and when needed. At the same time, you will also know that you must stop immediately if your partner is in pain or uncomfortable.

Learn About The Size Of The Top Of The Penis

One of the most important things that most people don't share, or avoid talking about, is the size of the penis at the top. Yes, the size of the penis is significant for topping up because you are not having vaginal but anal sex.

When the top penis is smaller than average, many bottoms don't like it or feel comfortable with it. Because with each of their pushes, there is a chance of the penis coming out, and repeatedly entering it inside the anus can be annoying. So if you also feel like this, try not to go ahead with the small penis. Or choose a sex position that can avoid this adverse effect.

Best Position For Anal Sex

  • It usually depends on all the partners and which position you are comfortable with. However, the¬†doggy style is suitable for anal penetration. Which will have complete control on the top and provide deep penetration.
  • Also, the¬†cowgirl or reverse cowboy sex position provides deep pleasure in anal penetration.¬†In these positions, the penis will directly hit the prostate of the receiving partner, leading to the ultimate fun and orgasm.
  • The¬†missionary sex position for anal penetration¬†is also a great experience. It allows for kissing, and you can stimulate your partner by penetrating their penis. Or you can blow yourself from below.

However, not everyone is the same, and everyone's instincts and tastes differ. So if someone likes another position, there is nothing to worry about. The thing to note is that the pelvis of each bottom is different, and the penis of each top is also other. Suppose the top of the penis tilts upwards, downwards, or sometimes straight outwards. In that case, it will undoubtedly affect which position will be better or worse for the bottom.

Where And How Should The Top Cum End?

All participants must think together about where the top co should end. If you are having anal sex without a condom, then permanently eliminate the cum outside because cum in the anus can cause some infection or other disease. Because cleanliness inside the anus is not completely done. Some people like to have top cum on their face, mouth, chest, or other parts, making them happy, so you talk and take care of each other's feelings and likes and dislikes.

Aftercare Is Essential

You are topping up like all types of sex, or checking in with a partner after anal sex makes for a beautiful and pleasurable experience. When you are finished, instead of getting up immediately, hug your partner, kiss them, and say I love you. And ask them how the session was, whether they enjoyed it and whether it could have been better, which you can do next time. Plus, if you clean together, whether in the bathroom or elsewhere, it will add to the joy. 

Also, post-sex behavior is essential in how you treat your partner. Aftercare enhances your sexual experience.

Does The Topping Endanger The Health Of The Partners?

So the simple answer is yes. Like all types of sex, there is a need to be aware of the health of anal sex. Anal sex is associated with a higher risk of sexually transmitted diseases than vaginal sex. When you have up or down anal sex, you have a higher risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI). There is always a risk of contracting STI infections such as herpes, HPV, syphilis, and anal warts. Therefore, while having anal intercourse, use adequate lubrication and condoms. 

If you don't use condoms consistently and have frequent anal sex or sex with different partners, you should undergo regular and comprehensive STI exams at least every three to 4 months. If you already have an active STI and you are aware of it, you should share this with your sexual partners so that they can avoid infection. 


No matter what type of sex you have, you should always be aware of this. It would help if you took care that you want to experience bliss and do not want to invite any infection and disease. That's why you should think about all the risks and precautions first. By which not only you will be able to keep yourself but also your partner safe. Because your whole life is more important than the joy of a momentary delay.

If you are infected, analyze your risk profile, and take regular tests and treatments accordingly. And be sure to take prophylactics such as PEEP, Valtrex, acyclovir, Gardasil, and the HPV vaccine. Also, take care of comprehensive safety during transmission.

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