Although most couples in human society are monogamous, meaning that they do not have a romantic or sexual relationship with a third person once they have entered each other's lives and partnered with each other, in some situations the opposite is true. And from much research and studies, it comes out that about 1 in 5 people engages in enm relationships at some point in their life.
We are discussing the types of enm relationships in this article, why people choose them, and how to make people practice in a way that is safe and amicable for all parties involved.
What Is An ENM Relationship?
There are many different ways to practice ENM, all of which involve open communication between all parties involved.
What does enm means? ENM means Ethical non-monogamy, it is the practice of participating in romantic relationships that are not completely exclusive between two people.
While this may not be the default way of conducting romantic relationships, mixed forms of non-monogamous marriages have grown in popularity in recent years.
ENM can be introduced into a relationship in many different ways. This may involve just one person acting outside the relationship, or both parties may do so. This can include sex only with others, romantic relationships only, or both romantic and sexual relationships.
Even if both people in the primary relationship practice ENM, they may have different habits regarding the emotional relationships they have established with their romantic/or sexual partners.
And what matters the most is that everyone consents to the relationship without coercion, deceit, or guilt. [Read: 153 Super Impressive Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend]
ENM And Cheat
What separates ethical non-monogamy from cheating is that no matter what form of ethical non-monogamy you practice in your relationship, both people in the relationship consent to it. Cheating does not make the partner agree. ENM is not cheating because both you and your partner have already agreed that you will practice non-marriage.
The term "ethical" in the ENM implies that all parts of the exercise are handled by consent and in a manner agreed upon by both parties.
Why Do People Choose ENM Relationships?
There are many reasons for wanting to establish a morally non-monogamous relationship. These are some of them.
- Ability to detect one's sexuality: Sexuality can change over time, and it can take time for us to fully understand. For those who want to explore their sexual identity by experimenting with people of a different gender than their partner, ENM makes sense because they don't need to leave their relationship to get better in touch with their sexual identity.
- Some relationships don't meet all a person's needs, expecting a human being to fit in perfectly with you and love what you love is a lot of pressure. To reduce this pressure, people who practice ENM have the freedom to look outside their relationship for others who may have similar sexual or romantic interests that their partners do not.
- There are people who are able to love many people at once and who feel more satisfied in life when they are able to do so. [Read: 180 Super Impressive Questions To Ask Your Girlfriend]
Types Of ENMs
Moral non-marriage is an umbrella term. This means that the classification of various personal relationship models falls under its broad definition.
What they all have in common is that the relationship is not completely monogamous and everyone involved agrees to be in that type of relationship.
ENM And Polyamory
- Polyamory is perhaps the most well-known version of moral non-monogamous marriage. Like ENM on a large scale, polygamy can be performed in several different ways. In which many people are in a relationship together in one mold. Another model involves a pair of two individuals each committed to their own additional partners. In other cases, one person in a relationship may be poly and have many partners, but one or more of their partners may not have any other partners.
- Polygamous relationships depend on communication between the parties regarding matters ranging from safe sex to feelings. Polyamory can involve a long-term commitment to more than one person simultaneously. The term polygamous is often used to describe connected polyamorous networks.
- Much famed as a religious practice, polygamy occurs when one person has multiple spouses. It can be a husband who has many wives or a wife who has many husbands, but it is known as the former. However, polygamy is not legal in most parts of the world. Although it can be practiced ethically, there have been cases that involve coercion and exploitation. [Read: What Is an ENM Relationship?]
ENM And Open Relationships
Unlike polygamy, open relationships generally do not involve a commitment to parties outside of a two-person relationship. This relationship model is best known for partners being able to pursue external sexual relationships but may also include romantic and/or emotional relationships with others. However, these are usually organized on the basis that the primary, two-person relationship is of the highest priority.
ENM And Relationship Chaos
On hearing the word anarchy, many questions come to mind of the people, with this word people also get into the sense of rate, while there is no need to be afraid of it. Relationship chaos is not trying to overthrow anything other than traditional ways of being in relationships. This is a model in which those involved do not use hierarchical terms for partners or think of them in terms of preference. This is in contrast to the relation hierarchy, which consists of a primary relationship that receives the most attention from an individual.
In the chaos of a relationship, everyone is equal. A person will not necessarily consider a romantic relationship to be more important than a friendship, and they may not even classify their relationships as strictly platonic, romantic/or sexual. This model is centered around individual freedom and autonomy. [Read: 23 Super Essential Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Work]
ENM And Monogamish
Monogamish is the term used for couples who are mostly monogamous but occasionally participate in external sexual relationships. People who are monogamous tend to focus only on external sexual encounters, not romantic relationships with others other than their partner. They can also go for long periods of time between external sexual encounters.
ENMs Practice And How To Start
Nothing is more important to a successful morally non-monogamous relationship than open communication. Before embarking on a new relationship style journey, you and your partner should make sure that you are both on the same page about what you both want.
You will benefit from discussing everything from your long-term relationship goals to how you handle the nuances of daily ENM life. Additionally, as you move towards becoming an ENM couple, you will benefit from checking in regularly with your partner to see how each of you is doing with your new relationship setup. Ethical non-marriage isn't for everyone, but there are many people who find that it makes for a more enjoyable relationship. [Read: 30 Super Solid Ways You Can Love Your Wife Unconditionally]
How Do I Know If The ENM Relationship Will Yield Better Results For Me?
- If you are curious about ENM, think extensively, study, and focus on research before starting it. You will find many such books and novels in the market which are based on EMM relations, as well as study and research notes of some institutions and individuals online which will help you to understand things. Before making your decision, it is important to understand what is and what is not ENM.
- People often mistakenly think that being an ENM means you're not committed to anyone, but if anything, people in these circles spend a lot of time exploring their inner world and insecurities and trying to understand their own needs and limitations. They spend almost an excessive amount of time communicating, which eventually leads to spectacular conclusions.
- Taking time for self-reflection and journaling about how you feel about monogamy is something you want to do to get a better understanding of your needs. You can ask yourself questions like, Does a marriage excite me? Do I feel like I can move on from the relationship I'm currently in? Does thinking about or doing this relationship make me happy? If it does, it could augur well for further activity.
- More than anything, embarking on a journey of discovery or action means knowing your own truth and capabilities. You can love only one person, and you are successful only when death separates you. [Read: How To Be A Better Lover And Spice Up Your Relationship]
Would An Ethical Non-Monogamous Marriage (Relationship) Suit My Current Relationship?
If you're currently partnered, there are part of risks and rewards to opening up to your previously monogamous relationship. For example, people are often surprised to learn that the ability to be so open and true to each other creates a whole new level of intimacy. For many people, ENM really deepens their love and dedication to each other.
You can find joy in being able to connect with your partner in an incredibly intimate way, fully accepting them for who they are, and being fully accepted for who you are, to your fullest. Having a space between you to express the truth will be refreshing and incredibly valuable.
On the other hand, having ENM also means that you may have to go through many uncomfortable feelings like jealousy, insecurity, and fear. It inevitably confronts you with your deepest fears. It means confronting inner demons, it means breathing through discomfort, it means finding new ways to relate to one another with the many ready to judge you. And expanding or opening up your relationship is a very difficult and challenging task.
If that's something you and your partner want to do, be prepared to have lots of raw, honest conversations. There is a very famous saying in the polyamorous world: "Swingers have sex, and polyamorous people talk.
Ask yourself, what are you and your partner looking for in alternative arrangements? Is it something you can do together, or is it something you have to do apart? More importantly, how well do you two communicate?
In general, ENM works best with people who have a solid communication dynamic, and a willingness to tolerate some strong emotions. Yes, of course, non-marriage always provides an opportunity to explore and learn how people experience jealousy.
If there are already communication issues within the relationship, building an ENM relationship will be challenging, and opening things up isn't going to automatically solve all problems between the two of you: it can make things worse. Usually, it's best to have a conversation about the search for ethical non-monogamous marriages when your relationship is already in a good place. [Read: Sex Sounds Leaks]
Once you decide to give it a try, remember that you can change your mind. The important thing is for you to identify what is right and ethical for all partners and then adhere to those limits. Check-in and communicate those limits regularly because it is possible for them to change. You are allowed to change your thinking.
Again, there is no set way of doing things - after all, that is the ethos of moral non-monogamy. And it is entirely up to you and your partners. As long as the lines of communication remain open, you can create a relationship dynamic that truly fulfills you.
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