What Is Vanilla Sex, Why Do People Like It, And How To Do It?

Are you confused by its name as to what exactly it is? BDSM goes beyond the world of kinky sex. Sex doesn't always have to be wild, rough, intense, or other casual. Sometimes sex is slow, gentle, soft, pleasurable, and deeply relaxing, and this kind of gentle-relaxing sex is called vanilla sex, and many people love it.

So this article is about what vanilla sex is, why people might like it, and how can we do it with more consent and safety.

When it comes to actual sex, orgasm, and sexual satisfaction, vanilla sex is all about pleasuring each other or being overly involved in each other's pleasure. Meaning vanilla sex involves more giving and taking mutual pleasure, be it any type of gentle and comfortable sexual activity, such as kissing, masturbation, foreplay, oral sex, penetration, or any position. But, it is not like in kink and rough sex whether you role plays or force yourself, rather it is about how you do it. This way you can cooperate lovingly, hold each other, or talk to each other. Do it gently and slowly, in which all the partners are alive.

However, sometimes it can be quite intense feelings (like the intense activity of an orgasm), but you don't have rough sex for the sake of it. In this, you are not yelling at someone, hurting them, or restraining them, but on the contrary, you are giving them the freedom to love, and you are giving them love in return. Vanilla sex is a spice or flavoring, like trying to eat vanilla ice cream without any vanilla and you'll see what I mean.

Vanilla sex is often described as sexual activity that is not kinky or rough sex, such as: slapping, holding, handcuffing, spitting, choking, gagging, hair pulling, biting, or domination/submission, consensual power sharing, role-playing, discipline, restraint, humiliation, pain or rough sex of any kind. All these sexual activities are far beyond the realm of vanilla sex.

As there is an overlap in kinky and rough sex because you might be doing some of the same things that are a little weird. Even a simple touch, like holding someone's hand, can be done rudely or awkwardly.

It's just like what you order at a restaurant. It is not necessary that everyone's taste matches your taste, and everyone enjoys their own choice. You may like to eat the same things over and over again, or you may be inquisitive. So the issue is what and how is your taste. The reality is that there are millions of small but important ways to make all types of sex actively more pleasurable. Whether we're struggling to find pleasure and intimacy, or trying to enhance the sexual pleasure we already enjoy. There's no denying that vanilla sex is probably the hottest and most explosive sex out there if done right.

The great thing about vanilla sex may be that they pave the way for a deeper physical connection. When we think of vanilla sex, we tend to think of things that are tiring, boring, underdeveloped, and without much enjoyment, flavor, and variety. But the reality may be the opposite.

So, here are 5 very important and distinctive things about vanilla sex that prove that it is indeed full of spices. And it's the best and that's why people like it.

As gentle and erotic as vanilla sex is, unfortunately, there's also a lot of unnecessary judgment about what some people think about it. Some people believe that if people know they are vanilla, they may be embarrassed, or that people will react as if it is a bad thing. Whereas in fact, vanilla is an exciting delight and delicious taste. There are some misconceptions people have about it which are mentioned below.

It's Boring and Sucks: Can Sex Be Boring? So yes sometimes it can be, but the reality is that it's not vanilla that can be boring or pointless, any sex that makes you uncomfortable can be boring. As humans, we crave novelty and extras, be it sex or other pursuits. But vanilla is so gentle and sweet that it doesn't get boring, and one doesn't even expect wildness in it. You don't have to have wild, risky, hard, or explosive sex to have a great sex life. You can even do some simple things to make it wild and explosive, like trying a new sex position, adding a toy, or even changing the location of the sex.

It's Less Evolved: Some people feel that vanilla sex is a less pleasurable act because it's less evolved. Although most of the people involved deny it, the idea may arise from the judgment of others, even if the person with the vanilla activity is satisfied. Of course, for some this may be the last point. But for others, it is part of an evolutionary process. However, the truth is that it's not for the weirdo or hardcore lovers. Due to the stereotype associated with queer sex and the associated misconception that vanilla sex can only be PIV intercourse, many people believe that queer people do not engage in vanilla sex. But since vanilla is a non-kinky sex activity, queer people can be queer and prefer vanilla sex.

It's a Low Pleasurable Sex Drive: oh really? So it isn't, a lot of people define vanilla sex as just PIV intercourse. There is a misconception that within the cis-heterosexual dynamic, vanilla sex is less pleasurable for women, especially those who prefer hardcore sex. But the truth is that even women who do hardcore sex sometimes have soft thoughts because the variety of sex is the most enjoyable. Because women are more likely to orgasm during partnered sex: when they have oral sex, try new sex positions, spend time in foreplay, and engage in deep kissing, all in vanilla sex are included. So keeping aside misconceptions and diving into the ocean of bliss is the biggest truth.

It doesn't matter what kind of sex you are indulging in, the most important thing is that you give time, be patient, and take it easy rather than rushing it, then sex will be more satisfying. If you haven't had much vanilla sex, you should know that it has tons of potential benefits, and you should try it.

• The simplicity of engaging in vanilla sex is enough to turn up the heat in the bedroom, and if you show patience, the duration of sex can be longer, resulting in stronger orgasms and incredible sexual pleasure. Plus it can help us be more present and feel a different level of connection with our partner, which leads to warmer and stronger relationships.
• This gentler sex can allow people to activate their senses more. For example, there are many changes in the female/male body during sexual intercourse. For example, you can feel the sound of your partner's breathing which can increase your arousal, smell their body which is very pleasant during intercourse, or can be wild from the taste of their mouth.
• If you like to indulge in kinkier sex than normal sex, even some vanilla experiences can create different tests and excitement in your sex life. For couples who are sometimes too confused, don't like to go into rough sex, or just don't have time for other casual sex, vanilla sex can be a great way to go. Sometimes sex life takes a hit for some reason, so to keep it alive it can be beneficial to include vanilla sex in it. It can also be important for people who have children, who live in a joint family, or who lead a busy lifestyle.
• Vanilla also works for beginners to sex life, it can help to learn patience and relaxation, or those who are bored with casual sex find a flavor in the form of vanilla.

No, vanilla sex is very common and special, there's nothing wrong with that. Vanilla sex is as rich, intimate, explosive, pleasurable, and satisfying as any other sex. Whether you are in Kink-BDSM Play, Casual Sex, or Vanilla Sex, they are all of the same pleasure and value, as long as part of the foundation of mutual consent, respect, and trust. And everyone has different values. Vanilla sex can be more fun and orgasmic if we are positively involved, and value each other.

According to the results of studies and research, most people have experienced vanilla sex at least some or most of the time, and most people enjoy it. In fact, as opposed to rough and kinky sex, people have admitted that they prefer vanilla sex as a symbol of gentleness and patience. However, the reasons for enjoying sex can be different, and different varieties of sex have different reasons, and everyone who has sex wants different sensations, feelings, and expectations during and after sex. It is clear that people have different types of sex, or engage in sexual activities in different ways. So if someone wants to be soft, slow, patient, comfortable, gentle, or normal while having sex, it doesn't mean they always want to do it, but it can be a variety. Overall vanilla sex can be the most satisfying for couples.