If you're married and not very happy with your sex life, it's natural to be worried and surprised. What is regular sex, how often should married couples have sex, and how can you know your exact position? Many such questions must be bothering you. And we will discuss in this article how often regular sex should happen. So that the relationship remains healthy and everything is expected between the two of you. We will also discuss the results of research and experts and understand them in reality.
But one important thing to know before these discussions is that the sex determines the average sexual frequency that the couple has. We agree that it is mutually satisfactory because we have to recognize that sexual frequency cannot indicate sexual satisfaction.
It may not be a good idea to compare your sex life with other people's. But its statistics can be interesting. It may come naturally to your mind that you are having sex less often than your friends, but it could just be your brainchild, and scientific studies on the issue can prove you wrong. For example, a recent social survey shows that American couples have more petite sex than a decade ago. This figure goes down further than in two decades. However, this can be an exception because there is no exact answer to this question in reality.
The research results conducted by many social surveys have been almost the same. There has been little difference in terms of percentage, which we are displaying according to the average of all the survey results, which are as follows.
- About 7% of American adults over the age of 18 had sex only once or twice a year.
- At the same time, 10% of American adults reported having no sex in a year.
- Whereas 19% of Americans said they had had sex only two or three times a month for several years.
- While 17% of people believed that they were having sex once a month, some thought they were not having sex for more than a month.
- The most shocking results were when only 5% of adult Americans admitted to having sex four or more times a week.
- While 16 percent said they had sex two or three times per week.
- Whereas 25 percent of Americans believed that they had sex only once a week.
- Another social survey published in 2019 found that about 47% of married couples have sex less than once a week. And about 35,000 people took part in this study.
It is said that having sex, again and again, makes married life happy. But research shows that married people who have more sex weekly are no more satisfied than those with more petite sex. So the exact answer could be exceptions.
The reality is that you're within normal limits, and if you're both happy with the number of times you have sex in your marriage, then that's the right amount of sex for you. No matter how many times it is. According to research, having sex more than once a week can reduce your desire and pleasure in sex. This result implies that quality is as important as quantity. [Read: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide To Rough, Aggressive, And Hardcore Sex]
Married Couple Sex And Satisfaction
Sex satisfaction and reciprocity are more important in marriage than the frequency of sexual intimacy. Mutual consent and respect play a significant role in sexual pleasure. Respondents in research studies reported that they are trying and exploring different things to do for better sex life.
How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex?
There is no exact answer to how often each married couple should have sex, nor is there an ideal number. How often each couple needs sex will vary based on their personal preferences. And it applies to everyone.
The frequency of a couple being sexual is the frequency they commit based on their individual needs and levels of desire. There is no one exact size that fits all. When people use a statistic to determine their sexual frequency, it reinforces the demonstrative sex.
And a 2015 survey study found that couples are happiest when they have sex once a week. And when they had sex less often, according to them, the happiness in their relationship decreased. But having sex more often than this did not change.
All results indicate that having sex is as often as once a week to maintain positive sexual well-being in an extramarital relationship.
So it is better that you try to be a better communicator rather than being distracted by numbers. The journey to improve your sex life begins with ensuring open communication with your partner. One study links sexual contact with better sexual experience and satisfaction. For example, suppose you have an honest conversation about sex with your partner. In that case, your chances of having a fake orgasm are less. You will be able to enjoy a successful orgasm, and this applies equally to all the couples involved. [Read: Sex Sounds Leaks]
Many research also shows that if you pretend to fake an orgasm, the more you will pretend to fake an orgasm, The less likely you are to talk about sex with your partner. It is because you will feel embarrassed and prefer not to talk about it. Some reasons for this include not hurting your partner's feelings or not being comfortable being assertive. [Read: 10 Ways To Be A Submissive Wife In Marriage or Relationship]
Are You Facing Difficulties In Your Married Life?
When you stop having sex with your partner in extramarital life, your relationship can escalate to malice, animosity, anger, infidelity, and eventually divorce. There can be many reasons for more petite sex between couples in a marriage, including:
- Aging
- Low natural libido
- Partner's health status
- The overall quality of the relationship
There is no standard scale to determine how often you should have sex in your marriage. At the same time, the results also show that having sex at least once a week is ideal for keeping the marriage intact. But are having sex once a month is a reason enough to qualify a marriage as sexless. And this dissatisfaction, over time, can lead to divorce between you.
It is also worth noting that a lack of sex does not always indicate a failed marriage. Sexual intimacy is how you express your love and desire for your partner; not having sex does not necessarily mean getting divorced. Anyway, it would help if you tried to handle this before things got out of hand. Just keep in mind that your partner doesn't feel like this, and if it does, you should talk. [Read: 13 Reasons Why So Many Wives Cheat On Their Husbands]
How To Increase Your Sex Potential?
Sex requires several factors for what you want and want to have often. For most couples, Differences are usually the main problem affecting the frequency of sex in their marriage. The problem is usually not about sex but the act.
Your desire for sex at any given time may not always match your partner's. The secret is to negotiate how many times per week sex works well for you. Like many other areas of marriage, there is a need to compromise on sex and its frequency. But further research and studies show that weekly sex frequency is good enough to keep your marriage happy. Although it entirely depends on your personal choice. Whom you understand each other's happiness and ease. [Read: 30 Best Sex Games For Couples To Play In The Bedroom]
Factors That Can Hinder A Healthy Married Sex Life
If you are dissatisfied with the amount of sex you and your partner have, it may blame a few factors. Sex is a multifaceted experience, and better and more satisfying sex brings mental, physical, and emotional benefits. Therefore, sex can be affected by mental, emotional, and physical health.
The following are examples of some of the factors that affect you or your partner's sex life:
- Stress and depression.
- Changes in the body due to aging and health problems, including hormonal changes.
- Indifference towards the same thing that you are always doing.
- Busy life because of kids, family, or career.
- Lack of communication and not feeling comfortable communicating with each other.
- Feeling neglected by a partner.
- Physical defect.
If you are not happy with the number of times you have sex, what should you do?
1. Talk To Your Partner About This.
Joint discussion between partners is essential. When something is missing in the relationship, it becomes necessary to have a detailed discussion of feelings and needs. Even if you do not need to set aside a specific period for this, it is better to make things better in time than to let the relationship end and then go through all the troubles. Therefore, communicating with a partner can give better results.
2. It Is Important To Reduce Stress
Stress dissolves bitterness in your relationships to a great extent, affecting both you and your partner. It can ruin your sex life. Anyone suffering from anxiety can find their libido significantly decreased. Research has shown that women with high pressure had lower levels of genital arousal. While it was worse in men, the men with stress were more deeply surrounded by erectile dysfunction. And even during intercourse, he was struggling with premature ejaculation.
If you feel that you or your partner is under stress, talk to each other about it and take the necessary steps to resolve the problem.
3. Meditation Is A Holistic Treatment
Suppose you are having trouble with sex, from anxiety or mental problems such as depression. In that case, you should focus on meditation without delay. Also, if it is done under the supervision of an expert, even better results can be obtained. However, it is also true that some people use sex to deal with stress. So this means that sometimes the drug and the patient can work for each other.
4. Schedule Time For Sex.
For couples struggling with sexual intimacy but having a good relationship, it may be better for such couples to have a certain period of days of sex. Scheduling time for sex can be a way to let your partner know that you care about them and want to make your partner a priority. Like she is everything to you and means a lot.
However, having scheduled sex doesn't mean that your sex life will go on a schedule forever. You can do it according to the current situation. Suppose today you call your wife from the office and say try to come home early this evening, I will reach by 5 pm. This method may not work for everyone, but trying it will give you better results; you have to consider how much benefit is likely to be given. And if that won't work, then changing things up might be the right option.
5. Select The Intimacy Date
For partners committed to being more intimate together, broaden their definition of sex so that it doesn't feel too narrow or pressured. One of the critical exercises is to have the partner plan the weekly intimacy date. It's different from a sex date. It is pleasure-focused, not goal-oriented, and in its various forms, leads to physical relations. It can include kissing, getting naked together, hugging, bathing, getting a massage, or anything in sexual activity.
6. Start Foreplaying Before The Bedroom.
Foreplay can be so much more than you think; physical touch and sexual acts, the path to great sex begins long before entering your bedroom. Creating a safe space for your partner and treating them with kindness, affection, and respect provides a jumping-off point for a deep, satisfying relationship during sex. Suppose you are far away and know that you will reach your partner by a specific time. In that case, you can choose sexting as a form of foreplay, which will not only contain obscene words but may also include obscene images and clips. [Read: 14 Essential Submissive Sex Guide]
7. Seek Counseling And Help From A Sex Therapist
A qualified and professional sex therapist can help you collaborate on the best ways to increase sexual intimacy in your relationship. And can play a crucial role in achieving your great sex.
And it may be more fun than you think. Yes, there will be some tough and vulnerable conversations. Still, there are often fun sexual homework and creative ideas to bring the sexual energy back into the relationship. The most important thing to understand is that getting a third party involved, i.e., an expert, can help troubleshoot. And any negative energy that may be surrounding your sex life can be dispelled so that both of you can be on the same page and start fresh in your relationship. [Read: Face Sitting: What Is It, And Why is It Such A Super Hot Topic?]
Conclusion
Research shows that the average adult has sex about once a week, but that doesn't always mean you should. However, you choose to be physically intimate with a partner, where and how often matters little more than the quality of the connection or encounter. You can do it as many times as you want; it's up to you on personal and mutual consent.
Having sex more often does not guarantee that your relationship will be successful. Instead, focus on the quality of the experience. While sex may be less frequent, it should be successful and significant sex. [Read: 18 Ultimate Ways to Have Passionate Sex]
FAQ
1. Is Having Sex Once A Month A Sexless Marriage?
Generally, a sexless marriage is defined as one where the married couple has sex 12-15 or fewer times per year. But people have different definitions of what counts as a sexless relationship and how much sex they want. Some couples have sex once or twice a year or no sex, and they are pleased with it. While other couples have sex less than once a month, they struggle. Some people have regular sex and do it three or even four times a week; many are also in unsuccessful relationships.
2. Is It Normal To Have Sex Everyday, And Does It Keep Relationships Warm?
According to a 2018 survey, only 5% of married people said they had sex four or more times per week. So obviously, it is not very common for married couples to have sex every day. It doesn't mean that having sex daily is unhealthy or abnormal; if it works for you and your marriage, and if both the partners are ready for it, feel free to have sex daily. After all, sex is the best food in the world.
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